that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
