Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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