call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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