mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
