we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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