Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
