Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
