Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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