its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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