Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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