He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Damn victory sex feels great
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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