Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
