Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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