My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
