There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
