Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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