i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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