just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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