Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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