Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
