Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
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Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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