Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
