He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
