i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
