Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
