i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
