Betty ford says i'm here all night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
