she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
