KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
