I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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