Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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