goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
