A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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