Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
