it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
