walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sorry about my life...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize