i would punch a child for taco bell
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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