just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
