You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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