I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
