Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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