The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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