the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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