I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
