I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
