you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
this will be a night to untag.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
