Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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