Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
