I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
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I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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