Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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