Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
