i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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