The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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