Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
