yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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