508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
