Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.

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  (917): I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop. http://tfl.nu/w9jv
  Replies (3) Good night (1563) Bad night (750)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.

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  (954): the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex. http://tfl.nu/73o1
  Replies (24) Good night (725) Bad night (1384)
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  (909): View more from California

  I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

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  (909): I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice. http://tfl.nu/z7v3
  Replies (14) Good night (4564) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls

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  (443): Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls http://tfl.nu/0maf
  Replies (11) Good night (4000) Bad night (849)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.

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  (407): Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock. http://tfl.nu/0ypw
  Replies (11) Good night (3629) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.

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  (508): He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me. http://tfl.nu/9xpz
  Replies (21) Good night (955) Bad night (3000)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.

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  (347): These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever. http://tfl.nu/3sd9
  Replies (14) Good night (3544) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.

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  (401): Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face. http://tfl.nu/dfnt
  Replies (13) Good night (2459) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You're gonna judge me.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Howd you sleep with him already

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  (720): You're gonna judge me. (303): Howd you sleep with him already http://tfl.nu/qfz4
  Replies (9) Good night (1995) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self

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  (514): She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self http://tfl.nu/l5li
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE

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  (831): Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE http://tfl.nu/2zmk
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (+34): View more from Spain

  Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?

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  (+34): Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band? http://tfl.nu/qwzc
  Replies (0) Good night (522) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.

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  (202): Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that. http://tfl.nu/gtv9
  Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.

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  (301): The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces. http://tfl.nu/0f9r
  Replies (0) Good night (501) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink

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  (315): so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink http://tfl.nu/z7su
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (303)

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