i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt