Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(361): View more from Texas

Screwed.edu

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(248): View more from Michigan

The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...

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(716): View more from New York

One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.

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(925): View more from California

I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(316): View more from Kansas

If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.

(970): View more from Colorado

What a gentleman.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart

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