Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"

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  (734): just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies" http://tfl.nu/wh5q
  Replies (24) Good night (11099) Bad night (1443)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines

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  (515): Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines http://tfl.nu/x6qw
  Replies (98) Good night (633) Bad night (3135)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell

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  (478): I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell http://tfl.nu/mqh8
  Replies (29) Good night (6290) Bad night (639)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.

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  (314): Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one. http://tfl.nu/fj7c
  Replies (7) Good night (8688) Bad night (930)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.

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  (304): his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on. http://tfl.nu/aue5
  Replies (8) Good night (791) Bad night (3694)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..

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  (601): Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store.. http://tfl.nu/p81s
  Replies (9) Good night (2356) Bad night (790)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.

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  (202): We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open. http://tfl.nu/2rgi
  Replies (7) Good night (2463) Bad night (636)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday

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  (727): just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday http://tfl.nu/w3i7
  Replies (8) Good night (2124) Bad night (1152)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more

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  (541): im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more http://tfl.nu/azy4
  Replies (9) Good night (3114) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.

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  (412): wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/kdfi
  Replies (4) Good night (318) Bad night (711)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"

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  (717): This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick" http://tfl.nu/axax
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.

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  (360): A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy. http://tfl.nu/u51s
  Replies (4) Good night (1300) Bad night (190)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.

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  (817): I want to just live in between your butt cheeks. http://tfl.nu/apm7
  Replies (14) Good night (408) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.

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  (847): Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way. http://tfl.nu/5snx
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (167)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.

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  (573): The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is. http://tfl.nu/harz
  Replies (0) Good night (76) Bad night (91)

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