I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.