I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
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In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n