Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you

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  (604): it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you http://tfl.nu/0wg6
  Replies (12) Good night (3865) Bad night (643)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself

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  (517): If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself http://tfl.nu/s6n2
  Replies (11) Good night (702) Bad night (3698)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.

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  (706): I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom. http://tfl.nu/0mx3
  Replies (28) Good night (4960) Bad night (988)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.

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  (513): I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered. http://tfl.nu/5t2g
  Replies (15) Good night (4116) Bad night (1097)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.

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  (573): They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/azqc
  Replies (5) Good night (3545) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was

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  (928): im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was http://tfl.nu/g5u7
  Replies (4) Good night (2399) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked

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  (415): my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked http://tfl.nu/w9k0
  Replies (7) Good night (2864) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.

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  (518): I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk. http://tfl.nu/wd6k
  Replies (3) Good night (1752) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?

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  (310): My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here? http://tfl.nu/bu6m
  Replies (5) Good night (2474) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'

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  (210): You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive' http://tfl.nu/9ya7
  Replies (4) Good night (1503) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.

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  (978): I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/61g0
  Replies (13) Good night (1963) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...

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  (404): I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle... http://tfl.nu/sqj1
  Replies (3) Good night (1420) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.

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  (907): Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping. http://tfl.nu/bd2j
  Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it

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  (712): I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it http://tfl.nu/a3ns
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.

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  (540): I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being. http://tfl.nu/xpnl
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (666)

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