Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
