:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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