I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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