New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
